The study showed that single women are as diverse as any other group: about half the women in the study said they are happier than they’ve ever been. Some lose sleep over the economic challenges of being single, but that doesn’t stop the majority of them from believing that midlife offers an opportunity for growth, for learning, and the chance to do the things they’ve always wanted to do. On study author says that “many single women are living lives of secret contentment.”

Here’s the gist of the myths, some supported, others debunked. Go the site for a fuller description.
Myth #1 All single women are desperate to find a mate.
Reality: Open to a nice relationship? You betcha. But obsessed with finding a partner? Hardly. 31% of single women 40 – 69 are in an exclusive relationship, and another 32% date non-exclusively, wile a surprising number couldn’t care less.

Myth #2 Single women are lonely.
Reality: Everyone is lonely sometimes—even married people. But most single women actually enjoy their solitude. Slightly more single women than their married sisters said they felt their independence was important to their quality of life. They love the freedom.

Myth #3 Older women are clueless about finances and don’t know how to invest.
Reality: Women are more timid investors than men are, but they’re the opposite of clueless and actually make fewer investing mistakes than men do. Women are also more likely than men to rely on advice from finance professionals… they seek information. “But just because single women know something intellectually, it doesn’t mean it’s easy for them emotionally.”

Myth #4 Unlike their female counterparts who were born before the women’s movement, baby-boomer career women have it made financially.
Reality: Many single women—particularly those under age 60—carry dangerously high levels of debt.
It’s not ignorance, manage big corporate budgets. “They work hard and like to spend, trading immediate gratification for long-term planning.”

Myth #5 Retirement is a time for single women to slow down and get a few more cats.
Reality: Often it’s an exciting chance for reinvention.
In terms of happy-right-now measurements, single women, overall, don’t fare as well as those with a partner. But attitudes are changing as mature unmarried women are starting to build a culture all their own as they realize how much time they have to create a meaningful life.

Myth #6 When it comes to their appearance, older single women say “the heck with it.”
Reality: To the contrary, women without partners are keenly aware that appearances matter in our society, but most don’t go to extremes to look younger, though single women do pay more attention to appearance, as in the dating world physical appearance is always important.

Myth #7: A single woman’s worst fear is that she’ll wind up old, sick, and alone.
Reality: While winding up alone later in life is increasingly likely for all women, it’s not something single women lose sleep over. 81% aren’t overly concerned about growing old alone. Some see being single as protecting them from the heartbreaking ordeal of caring for a sick husband.

Myth #8 The older they get, the more single women regret the lack of family ties.
Reality: Unmarried women have strong family relationships, and many have stronger social support systems than married women do of friends, colleagues, neighbors, and other people..”Community really means a lot and gives them geographical stability.

Myth #9 Single women are sex-starved.
Reality: It’s variable, while most women have a greater appetite for other forms of sustenance in their lives. Whether sexually active or not, they aren’t hung up about it, yet those who are, are more sexually adventurous and easygoing, and more willing to take pleasure when it comes.

Myth #10 Single women aren’t as healthy as married women.
Reality: This is hard to say as there is little data, yet 46% say their health is excellent or very good, while 90% feel very or somewhat confident that they’re doing all they can to stay healthy.

As a veteran global fund-raiser for the Hunger Project, consultant to the Nobel Women’s Initiative to leverage the influence of women Nobel Peace Laureates to advance peace, justice, and equality, and as a trustee of the Fetzer Institute, whose mission is to foster awareness of love and forgiveness and the power of letting go, Lynne Twist has long observed how our relationship to money governs, dominates, and stresses each of our lives.  Her Soul of Money Institute is dedicated to helping people  find peace and sufficiency in their relationship with money.  The video excerpt (below) provides an empowering perspective on how to see what’s unraveling all around us:  “We’re living in a time when the economic system, the money system itself, the markets are unraveling …. It’s  is a very frightening time … {but it’s important to} recognize that what is unraveling is that which has no viability. What is unraveling is that which is not sustainable. … If we can see that what’s happening is a truing, is a recalibration, it helps us see how to deal with it on a personal basis.  It’s a difficult time…{and}  it can also be a beautiful time.  Because  … we can move towards thrift rather than accumulation; we can move toward appreciating what we love rather than being afraid of what we’ve lost. We can focus our attention and intention not on what we’re losing, but on what we already have that’s so valuable and nourishing to us. And we can stop clamoring for more of what we don’t really need and take care of what we have.”

For more on Lynne Twist’s perspective on the origins and purpose of money and the source of our upset about it, as well as her Unleashing the Soul of Money: Finding Sufficiency, Freedom and Purpose and Through Your Relationship with Money audio workshop, click here.

While they are not suggesting this proves happiness protects the heart, they do suggest the belief that people are hardwired to be naturally happy or not has been replaced in recent years by studies in the science of happiness, or the field of positive psychology. There are numerous strategies that can help naturally negative people become happier, including

* A daily schedule of at least 15 – 20 minutes doing something enjoyable
* Express gratitude on a regular basis.
* Practice being optimistic.
* Engage in frequent acts of kindness.
* Visualize one’s best self.
* Savor joyful events.
* Practicing forgiveness.
* Regular exercise, sex and sleep

Merck is currently fielding hundreds of lawsuits related to death of jaw bone tissue. Trials begin anew later in the spring.

In fact, for some of the clearest data on reported side effects from the biphosphonate class of drugs – which the FDA alerts includes as Actonel, Actonel+Ca, Aredia, Boniva, Didronel, Fosamax, Fosamax+D, Reclast, Skelid, and Zometa – the Fosamax Lawsuit Update tracks the events, beginning with studies in 2005, that caused the FDA to examine and update its labeling for biphosphonates.

The severe pain some women experience can occur within days, months, or years of taking these drugs. While some women’s symptoms completely resolve after discontinuing the drugs, others’ pain continues. And while bisphosphonates are routinely given to menopausal and postmenopausal women, there is no research indicating how long they should take them. With the increasing side effects, many doctors are now recommending a five-year limit.

A look at bone physiology

Our team at aheadofthecurveatmidlife, which includes a pharmacist, acupuncturist, and nutritionist, is committed to getting out the straight facts about osteoporosis and osteopenia, and the choices women have in addressing their own risks as well as taking control of their own care.

Our commitment is redoubled when we read a doctor say, as in the current media report, that some women taking biphosphonate drugs lose “their ability to regenerate their skeleton …” and that “normally your bone is constantly being remade .. [but] “these patients don’t remake their bone and they acquire damage, microdamage, the collagen gets altered and we need to rejuvenate the skeleton.”

While this is undoubtedly true, there is more to the story.

It’s true that with age new bone cell growth slows down – but not completely.  If you take a look at bone physiology, you see that new bone cells are constantly being made, and old cells are being eliminated.  This is the balance that creates healthy bones, and it continues throughout our lives.  The action of biphosphonates, however, is to preserve the old cells – to prevent them from being eliminated – and not to create healthy new bone cells. It some respects, it also slows the growth of healthy new cells. So, it’s not surprising that studies are showing that poor quality, or ‘brittle bones,’ are causing the fractures that occur in women who take these drugs.

Osteoporosis and Osteopenia as Warning Signs

In fact, the slowed rate of new bone cell growth can often be attributed to lifestyle factors, like getting the 24 micro-nutrients through your diet, or supplements – not only calcium – that are needed to grow new bone.  For example, see  Vitamin D and You at Midlife. As we age our habits do indeed catch up with us – see Soft Drinks: America’s Other Drinking Problem. In addition, loss of calcium from bones may be considered the body’s first line of response in balancing the pH of the blood, which it considers more important in its hierarchy of survival needs than bone. Higher than normal pH – that is, slightly acid blood usually caused by eating processed foods, sugars, and unmanaged stress – causes calcium to be moved out of the bone to restore balance in the blood.

From this perspective, osteopenia and osteoporosis are warning signs for women – and men – to step back and take a look at how they may be contributing to their condition – and then to commit to taking action to modify known lifestyle factors that impact bone health. Women who want to rejuvenate their bones and their overall health can do it without relying on pharmaceutical interventions that may or may not benefit them, and that carry their own risks.

…

Sign up to read our free report, The Selling of Osteoporosis, to help to sort out the often misleading claims as well as the true benefits of osteoporosis drugs. 

To learn about a drug-free and natural way to prevent – or even reverse – osteoporosis and osteopenia without side effects, master the essentials in our Women Doing It For Themselves – 8 Steps to Building Bone Health for Lifelong Vitality program.

Indeed, if you consider only healthy people who exercise regularly, those who sit the most during the rest of the day have larger waists and worse profiles of blood pressure and blood sugar than those who sit less. Among people who sit in front of the television for more than three hours each day, those who exercise are as fat as those who don’t: sitting a lot appears to offset some of the benefits of jogging a lot.”

P.S. Since I sit a LOT more than I’d like to admit I use a balance ball chair when I’m at my keyboard. It does keep my spine straighter and more flexible so I feel more energized and light on my feet vs glued to my chair. Just rolling around on it while I write – like I am now – gets my blood and muscles moving, and I’m much less tired at the end of the day.

While there are no studies as far as I know on this particular activity yet – research does indicate that using balance balls regularly does increase core stability – a key element in strengthening the spine and reducing lower back pain. So this might be a good time to add these six simple stability building exercises to your regimen between bouts of rolling around at your desk or in front of the TV. (It’s actually fun!)

Why Women Mean Business was named a business book of the year by Conference Board Review, the quarterly magazine of The Conference Board, the world’s preeminent business membership and research organization. Their predictions come from analyzing the 15 million jobs the U.S. Bureau of Labor expects will be created by 2018. Among reasons cited for the surge in growth in “women-bossed” new jobs include greater flexibility from higher rates of self-funding among women’s businesses than men’s, the faster growth rate for women-owned businesses, and the fact that the fields and occupations dominated by women are expected to grow in coming years.

The course takes you through a: chakra-by-chakra self-diagnosis, and healing with imagery, to the scientific evidence from medicine and physics, how our past lives affect our present health, and decoding archetypal information. You also learn to:

* Develop an intuitive rapport not just with your body but with your entire life
* Work with archetypes, imagery, and symbols—the language of the psyche
* Use “spiritual alchemy” to engage your struggles as a source of transformation and wisdom
* See how your personal history gets encoded in your chakras
* Focus on the higher powers of your own “jewel of potential”—the seventh chakra
* Cleanse and “rewire” your own energy system
* Control—or even reverse – the single cause of 75% of all illness in two 20-minute sessions a day

The addict feels low. His body needs a boost. He reaches into his pocket and finds a dollar bill. He slides it into the machine and a can rolls out. He opens the can and guzzles. He feels his energy return. His fix will last a couple of hours, enough to keep him alert for the rest of the morning.

The addict is twelve years old and his drug is a soft drink, purchased from a vending machine in his school. This addict and thousands like him will attend special classes, sponsored by his school, to warn him about the dangers of drugs, tobacco and alcohol. But no one will tell him about America’s other drinking problem.

According to the National Soft Drink Association (NSDA), consumption of soft drinks is now over 600 12-ounce servings (12 oz.) per person per year. Since 1978, soda consumption in the US has tripled for boys and doubled for girls. Young males age 12-29 are the biggest consumers at over 160 gallons per year—that’s almost 2 quarts per day. At these levels, the calories from soft drinks contribute as much as 10 percent of the total daily caloric intake for a growing boy.

TARGETING THE YOUNG

Huge increases in soft drink consumption have not happened by chance — they are due to intense marketing efforts by soft drink corporations. Coca Cola, for example, has set the goal of raising consumption of its products in the US by at least 25 percent per year. The adult market is stagnant so kids are the target. According to an article in Beverage, January 1999, “Influencing elementary school students is very important to soft drink marketers.”

Since the 1960s the industry has increased the single-serving size from a standard 6-½-ounce bottle to a 20-ounce bottle. At movie theaters and at 7-Eleven stores the most popular size is now the 64-ounce “Double Gulp.”

Soft drink companies spend billions on advertising. Much of these marketing efforts are aimed at children through playgrounds, toys, cartoons, movies, videos, charities and amusement parks; and through contests, sweepstakes, games and clubs via television, radio, magazines and the internet. Their efforts have paid off. Last year soft drink companies grossed over $57 billion in sales in the US alone, a colossal amount.

In 1998 the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) warned the public that soft drink companies were beginning to infiltrate our schools and kid clubs. For example, they reported that Coca-Cola paid the Boys & Girls Clubs of America $60 million to market its brand exclusively in over 2000 facilities. Fast food companies selling soft drinks now run ads on Channel One, the commercial television network with programming shown in classrooms almost every day to eight million middle, junior and high school students. In 1993, District 11 in Colorado Springs became the first public school district in the US to place ads for Burger King in its hallways and on the sides of its school buses. Later, the school district signed a 10-year deal with Coca-Cola, bringing in $11 million during the life of the contract. This arrangement was later imitated all over Colorado. The contracts specify annual sales quotas with the result that school administrators encourage students to drink sodas, even in the classrooms. One high school in Beltsville, Maryland, made nearly $100,000 last year on a deal with a soft drink company.

While our children are exposed to unremitting publicity for soft drinks, evidence of their dangers accumulates. The consumption of soft drinks, like land-mine terrain, is riddled with hazards. We as practitioners and advocates of a healthy life-style recognize that consuming even as little as one or two sodas per day is undeniably connected to a myriad of pathologies. The most commonly associated health risks are obesity, diabetes and other blood sugar disorders, tooth decay, osteoporosis and bone fractures, nutritional deficiencies, heart disease, food addictions and eating disorders, neurotransmitter dysfunction from chemical sweeteners, and neurological and adrenal disorders from excessive caffeine.

EARLY WARNINGS

Warnings about the dangers of soft drink consumption came to us as early as 1942 when the American Medical Association’s (AMA) Council on Food and Nutrition made the following noble statement: “From the health point of view it is desirable especially to have restriction of such use of sugar as is represented by consumption of sweetened carbonated beverages and forms of candy which are of low nutritional value. The Council believes it would be in the interest of the public health for all practical means to be taken to limit consumption of sugar in any form in which it fails to be combined with significant proportions of other foods of high nutritive quality.”

Since that time the first notable public outcry came in 1998, 56 years later, when the CSPI published a paper called “Liquid Candy” blasting the food industry for “mounting predatory marketing campaigns [especially] aimed at children and adolescents.” At a press conference, CSPI set up 868 cans of soda to represent the amount of soda the average young male consumed during the prior year. For additional shock effect, CSPI displayed baby bottles with soft drink logos such as Pepsi, Seven-Up and Dr. Pepper, highlighting a study that “found that parents are four times more likely to feed their children soda pop when their children use those logo bottles than when they don’t.”

In “Liquid Candy” CSPI revealed that even though, over a period of fifty years, soft drink production increased nine times and by 1998 “…provided more than one-third of all refined sugars in the diet, . . . the AMA and other health organizations [remained] largely silent.” How could the medical community and we as responsible citizens concerned with health policy have been apathetic for a half a century? Considering this question makes me feel like a tired old guard dog that knows he is ignoring his responsibilities, but is too worn down to do anything about them. Even if inertia were not a problem, the money and effort required to launch a public interest campaign to stand up to the soft drink industry would be Herculean if not impossible. In the meantime, the relentlessly ambitious and wealthy soft drink companies with their very hip life-style ads manage to seduce ever increasing numbers of consumers, most of them our kids.

GI DISTRESS

One common problem I have seen over the years, especially in teenagers, is general gastrointestinal (GI) distress. This includes increased stomach acid levels requiring acid inhibitors and moderate to severe gastric inflammation with possible stomach lining erosion. The common complaint I hear is chronic “stomach ache.” In almost every case, when the client successfully abstains from sodas and caffeine, the symptoms will go away.

What causes these symptoms? We know that many soda brands contain caffeine and that caffeine does increase stomach acid levels. What we may not be aware of is that sodas also contain an array of chemical acids as additives, such as acetic, fumaric, gluconic and phosphoric acids, all of them synthetically produced. That is why certain sodas work so well when used to clean car engines. For human consumption, however, the effects are much less satisfying and quite precarious. Drinking sodas, especially on an empty stomach, can upset the fragile acid-alkaline balance of the stomach and other gastric lining, creating a continuous acid environment. This prolonged acid environment can lead to inflammation of the stomach and duodenal lining which becomes quite painful. Over the long term, it can lead to gastric lining erosion.

Another problem with sodas is that they act as dehydrating diuretics, much like tea, coffee and alcohol. All of these drinks can inhibit proper digestive function. It is much healthier to consume herbal teas, nutritional soups and broths, naturally lacto-fermented beverages and water to supply our daily fluid needs. These fluids support, not inhibit, digestion.

SPORTS DRINKS

Students are now being given “electrolyte” drinks called “ergogenic aids” to replace electrolytes that are allegedly depleted during workouts. There are three problems with using these drinks as a rehydration solution. First, most soft drinks are diuretics, meaning they squeeze liquids out of the body, thus exacerbating dehydration instead of correcting it. Second, most people actually lose few electrolytes during exercise. After exercise the body is usually in an electrolyte load having lost more fluids than electrolytes. If sweating has been profuse, electrolytes can be replaced by drinking a lacto-fermented beverage or pure mineral water, which contains a proper ratio of minerals (electrolytes), and by eating a healthy diet containing Celtic sea salt. Third, when we give sugar-laden drinks to dehydrated kids, the high sugar content requires that blood be sent to the stomach to digest it. This fluid shift can lower the blood volume in other parts of the body making them more susceptible to cramps and heat-related illnesses.

STIMULANT SOFT DRINKS AND VIOLENCE

The industry has begun to market so-called stimulant soft drinks, which usually consist of higher-than-usual levels of caffeine, along with other compound stimulants. According to an article published in The Lancet, December 2000, the Irish government ordered “urgent research” into the effects of so-called “functional energy” or stimulant soft drinks after the death of an 18-year-old who died while playing basketball. He had consumed three cans of “Red Bull,” a stimulant soft drink. The article noted there have been reports of a rise in aggressive late-night violence occurring when people switch to these drinks while drowsy from too much alcohol. The resulting violence was so pervasive that some establishments in Ireland have refused to sell stimulant drinks. The entire European community has taken the problem seriously enough to ask the EU’s scientific community to examine stimulant sodas and their effect on food and health safety, but no such outcry has been heard in the US.

BONE FRACTURES

Over the last 30 years a virtual tome of information has been published linking soft drink consumption to a rise in osteoporosis and bone fractures. New evidence has shown an alarming rise in deficiencies of calcium and other minerals and resulting bone fractures in young girls. A 1994 report published in the Journal of Adolescent Health summarizes a small study (76 girls and 51 boys) and points toward an increasing and “strong association between cola beverage consumption and bone fractures in girls.” High calcium intake offered some protection. For boys, only low total caloric intake was associated with a higher risk of bone fractures. The study concluded with the following: “The high consumption of carbonated beverages and the declining consumption of milk are of great public health significance for girls and women because of their proneness to osteoporosis in later life.”

A larger, cross sectional retrospective study of 460 high school girls was published in Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine in June 2000. The study indicated that cola beverages were “highly associated with bone fractures.” In their conclusion the authors warned that, “. . . national concern and alarm about the health impact of carbonated beverage consumption on teenaged girls is supported by the findings of this study” (emphasis mine).

THE BATTLE AHEAD

The dangers of society’s other drinking problem have recently been in the news. Senator Christopher Dodd and Representative George Miller have commissioned a study on the uses and oversight of school vending machines. Pending legislation in the State of Maryland would turn school soda vending machines off during the school day. Senator Patrick Leahy has introduced a bill requiring the USDA to rule within 18 months on banning or limiting the sale of soda and junk food in schools before students have eaten lunch.

The soft drink industry has fought back by funding four studies on soft drink consumption at the Georgetown Center for Food and Nutrition Policy. Predictably, these studies found that there was nothing wrong with soft drinks. In fact, researchers said they found a positive relationship between soft drink consumption and exercise. All this means is that those children participating in sports programs drank more sodas.

The National Association of Secondary School Principals (NAASP) says that decisions about soda sales should be made at the local level and not by the federal government. School administrators are caught between demands of a few parents for a saner food policy and the need for more funds in the face of dwindling school budgets.

One good idea comes from the Philippines, a country where malnutrition is an ominous health threat. A recently devised plan there would allow citizens to cash in on the country’s “junk food diet” by taxing every liter bottle of carbonated soft drink sold. If the US taxed soft drink sales, the new income stream generated could then be distributed to declining school budgets. Is this not a better idea than forcing our schools to sell their souls to soft drink companies under the titanic sink of fiscal degradation?

The alarm has been sounded! Are you listening? I strongly encourage all who are concerned about the health of their families to consider the debilitating consequences of drinking soft drinks. How many more studies and reports need to be published before we notice the tsunami lurking ahead? In the 1970s, we finally recognized the risks of smoking. In the 1990s, the problem of teenage drinking became widely known. The new millennium is the time for awakening to the risks of soda consumption—America’s other drinking problem.

……

This article appeared in Wise Traditions in Food, Farming and the Healing Arts, the quarterly magazine of the Weston A. Price Foundation, Summer 2001. Reprinted with permission.

Judith Valentine, Ph.D. is a nutritionist, Integrative Health Practitioner, and health educator certified by the American Association of Nutritional Consultants. Co-author of Weight Solutions: The New Body-Mind-Spirit Approach, she helps people achieve greater health through nutrition, as well as how to avoid toxic ingredients in food, supplements, and personal care products. Using a Metabolic Typing assessment as a guide, she helps customize unique programs for individuals to learn to eat and supplement optimally according to their individual biochemistry.

……

For the latest research on calcium, HRT and building bone health through diet, click here.

To read the FDA Alert on biphosphonate Fosomax, Actonel and Boniva for osteoporosis, click here.

For help on understanding the health claims and hidden risks of biphosphonates, sign up here for our free special report, The Selling of Osteoporosis.

To learn about a drug-free and natural way to prevent – or even reverse – osteoporosis and osteopenia without side effects, master the essentials in our Women Doing It For Ourselves – How to Build Bone Health for Lifelong Vitality, with nutritionist and health educator Dr. Judith Valentine, Ph.D.

……

References

* “Soft Drinks Hard Facts,” The Washington Post /Health, February 27, 2001.
* “Schools Hooked on Junk Food,” The Washington Post, February 27, 2001.
* “Coke to Dilute Push in Schools For Its Products,” The New York Times, March 14, 2001.
* National Soft Drink Association. Web Site, www.thesodafountain.com.
* “Some Nutritional Aspects of Sugar, Candy and Sweetened Carbonated Beverages,” Journal of the American Medical Association, 1942;120:763-5.
* Liquid Candy, How Soft Drinks are Harming Americans’ Health, M. Jacobson, PhD.
* Web Site, CSPI.com.
* “Soft Drinks Undermining Americans’ Health: Teens Consume Twice as Much ‘Liquid Candy’ as Milk,” CSPI Press Release, Oct. 21, 1998.
* Food Surveys Research Group – What We Eat in America. USDA Web Site.
* “Relationship Between Consumption of Sugar-Sweetened Drinks & Childhood Obesity: AProspective and Observational Analysis,” The Lancet, 2001. 357:505-08.
* “The Cariogenicity of Soft Drinks in the United States,” Journal of the American Dental Association, Aug. 1984 109(2):241-5.
* “How Sugar-Containing Drinks Might Increase Adiposity in Children,” The Lancet, 2001. 357; 9225.
* “Junk Food Boost for Health in the Philippines,” The Lancet, 1997. 350; 9087.
* “Teenaged Girls, Carbonated Beverage Consumption, and Bone Fractures,” Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, June 2000. 154(6).
* “Carbonated beverages, dietary calcium, the dietary calcium/phosphorus ratio, and bone fractures in girls and boys,” Journal of Adolescent Health, May 1994. 15(3): 210-5.
* “Soft drink consumption among US children and adolescents: nutritional consequences,” Journal of the American Dietetic Association,. April 1999. (4): 436-41.
* “Irish concerned about health effects of stimulant soft drinks,” The Lancet, December 2000; 356; 9245.
* The Diet Cure, Julia Ross. 1999. Penguin Books, NY, NY.
* Eating for A’s. Alexander Schauss, Barbara Friedlander Meyer, Arnold Meyer. 1991: NY Pocket Books.
* The Encyclopedia of Nutrition & Good Health. Robert Ronzio.1997. Facts on File, NY.
* Fast Food Nation. Eric Schlosser. 2001. Houghton Mifflin.
* Nourishing Traditions. Sally Fallon, with Mary Enig, PhD. NewTrends Publishing, Washington, DC
* Textbook of Natural Medicine. J. Pizzorno, M. Murray. 1999 2d Ed. Church Livingstone, NY.
* “Hard Line on Soft Drinks?” Nutrition Week, Community Nutrition Institute

From time to time, many of us tend to experience an occasional insight. An insight is simply the ability to change our filter and look at things differently. In moments of insight, there’s a sudden burst of clarity where there had previously been static; there is an epiphany of movement. It’s the a-ha moment. When we are firmly entrenched in our beliefs and rooted in our certainty, we’re not typically open to insights. To have an insight we need to temporarily suspend our beliefs and open to new possibilities. We’re not so much working on the insight as we are creating the groundwork for it to come forth. In other words, we’re getting out of our own way, and opening to new considerations. Without insights we’re shackled to a fixed and stagnating reality in which little changes. It tends to look as if life is just replaying itself, day in and day out.

Today’s insight becomes tomorrow’s faded memory

The more that we move out of old, habitual patterns of belief and thought, the more inclined we are to have insights. My work as a therapist is highly motivated toward catalyzing insights. Insights are the initiators of change, but only if we pay homage to them. Although enlightening for a brief period, insights tend to fade and wither over time. Today’s insight becomes tomorrow’s faded memory. That is precisely why we struggle with change and stay stuck in the old groove.

I believe that insights are the forerunners of our growth and personal evolution. But only if we treat them with the value they deserve. If we diminish an important breakthrough, we’re devaluing ourselves. If we don’t take the new thinking and highlight it as a guide to our self-actualization, we are impeding new learning and growth. We’re simply not taking ourselves seriously enough.

What is a defining moment?

In my personal life and in my work, strongly believe in making a commitment to insight. A commitment to insight might sound like, “My life is changed because of this insight. I am committed to this change, as of this moment.” Although this might sound awkward and perhaps corny, it is actually the foundation for an increasing self-esteem. When we make a commitment to an insight, I refer to that as a defining moment.

Defining moments occur when we direct our lives onto a new pathway, borne of an illuminating insight and an expanded awareness. Defining moments stand out in singularity and literally redefine our lives. This process moves us from the mental breakthrough of the moment into a state of action. Sustaining the defining moment requires a foundational shift in our lives. There is ordinarily a state of inertia at work, whereby we tend to slip back into the familiar zone. Therefore, making a commitment is truly essential to maintaining the change.

If you can’t identify defining moments in your life, you’ve likely lived by the rules of conformity and have been influenced by fear. Defining moments speak to the deeper underlying questions and struggles of our lives. When we react in habitual and formatted ways, we don’t penetrate beneath the surface of our existence. Fear and anxiety typically corral us into this formatted type of thinking and behavior, whereby we’re in a reactive mode, not quite operating from the deepening awareness that insight can evoke.

Defining moments are those in which we take full authorship of the script of our lives. Creating the defining moment is achieved by shifting the insight to the foreground of your attention and illuminating it with full intention. The deepening experience of awareness and presence enables the profound shift into the realm of defining moments. Defining moments are the peak experiences of our lives when we come to recognize them as such.

~~~~~~~~

Mel Schwartz is a psychotherapist, author, educator and founder of the Emergent Thinking® process which enables people to transcend their struggles with today’s challenges. He introduces and integrates many discoveries of the emerging sciences, synergizing them into a practical protocol to catalyze change.

]]> http://www.aheadofthecurveatmidlife.com/2010/02/28/defining-moments/feed/ 0