AHEAD OF THE CURVE AT MIDLIFE » Notes from the First Half

Learn to Distinguish Intuition from Impulse

Kathleen Daniel — Sat, 17 Jun 2000 17:07:35 +0000

Ever wonder if that “intuitive flash” you just experienced was in fact the most brilliant insight you’ve ever had, or perhaps the most foolish? You’re not alone, of course. Learning to distinguish intuition from wishful thinking, or impulse can be challenging. But it is a learnable skill. As Christina Baldwin writes in Life’s Companion, Journal Writing as Spiritual Quest

, the problem is that intuition lives on a party line, with lots of voices and impulses and desires crowding around it. Often we throw out the intuition with the rest of the clutter.

Here are five criteria to help distinguish the wheat from the chaff:

1. Intuition is quiet and calm. It’s never pushy grandiose, obsessive, or manipulative. It does not advise us on what other people ought to do, but on what we ought to do.

2. Intuition is supportive and directive, never judgmental, critical, shaming, or blaming. It sees the world as cause and effect. A voice that loads its sentences with appeals to the ego, to the personality, or to stature in the world is not coming from intuition.

3. Intuition is a complete thought, a statement. Intuition does not lecture, explain, elaborate. The direction is always simple. It is we who throw up the arguments, discussion, reasons why we can’t do what’s been suggested.

4. Intuition comes to you and through you, without your feeling as though you are generating it. You may experience it as a relationship with an “other.”

5. Intuition always has our best interests at heart. Its messages may challenge and divert us from a path we had intended to follow, but they are never misleading. Intuition is a form of spiritual communication. If we believe the sacred is benevolent, intuition should also be regarded as benevolent. The challenge to the rational mind is to accept intuition and to use it as though you’ve been given a gift.

In order to become more intuitive, slow down, ask, wait, and look for a response that fits the above description. When writing in your journal, look for intuitive phrases such as “I know it’s time to…,” or “I know I need to…” Take time for a visualization exercise in which you request a guide or messenger and notice how it comes. Then write about the image you’ve been given and develop a relationship with it in any way that works for you, by describing it, dialoging with it, or even drawing it. Practice listening, affirming and trusting your inner voice.download where the heart is

Get Out of Your — and Other's –Way

Kathleen Daniel — Fri, 02 Jun 2000 12:12:52 +0000

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Ever notice how a group really “clicks” together sometimes? It happens when personalities, egos or other obstructions don’t get in the way of allowing members’ wisdom and enthusiasm to emerge. People feel connected, ideas are flying and new possibilities open up. If you are leading such a gathering, the best that you can do is to put your own agenda aside and let it happen.

In our roles as parents, employers and leaders, our goal is to surface the brilliance and internal motivation of others to be and do their best, not to pontificate to, or micromanage them. In the workplace this might translate into not hovering over employees, or over-supervising them. Once goals, purpose and responsibilities have been established, step back and allow people to do things in ways that work best for them. Since people support what they help create, include them in decisions that affect them. You will see more investment or buy-in on their part. This is equally true with children. Teens will clearly let you know if they feel you are hovering. (“Annoying” and “in my face” might be key words to tip you off here.)

The same principle applies to us as individuals. We get out of our way by trusting ourselves as well as the spiritual forces that guide us, however we conceive of them.

Once you’ve planted the seeds– or set your intention– in undertaking a new project or exploring a new path, let the ideas and actions that will develop it rise up on their own. Don’t fret and worry, push and take actions just to keep moving. Your job is to pay attention, to be present enough to notice opportunities as they present themselves to you.

One mistake people make is thinking that what they want will appear to them whole. Not so. It’s more like negotiating an elaborate labyrinth. Most of the time what we do is follow threads. We are presented with an intuition, a lead, or a next step that seems relevant or promising. This is the time to drop wild expectations, fear, worry and arrogance and to follow that lead or to take that action, however tiny or tangential it may appear.

Look to nature. No fruit comes up whole out of the ground. Flowers appear only as a culmination of an elaborate development and strengthening process the plant undergoes.

Actually, when you get out of your own way, life can be a great adventure!

COACHING CHALLENGE: Think of a goal that you intend to achieve. Write down what resources you need to achieve it: time, timing, connections, materials, people, skills, coaching, peace and quiet, support. Anchor yourself in the trust, confidence and expectation that you will achieve your desired outcome. Then get out of the way and watch for opportunities that present themselves to you

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How to Choose Well

Kathleen Daniel — Sun, 30 Jan 2000 17:26:10 +0000

Learning how to make good choices is an invaluable skill in life. Whether choosing a career path or buying a new home, it saves the time, mistakes and the hassles of trial by error approaches. It also builds your confidence and self-worth, and generates its own positive momentum. Fortunately, with attention and care, learning how to make good choices is a skill that can be developed.

What are good choices? Good choices are reality based. They are ones that are aligned with your beliefs and values, maintain your standards, and are based on what matters most to you. They may arrive through logically thinking things through, or in a flash of intuition. These seven guideposts will help you confirm you are on the right track.

1. Base your choices on what is real and factual. Task one is to develop a willingness to suspend your assumptions, opinions, beliefs, wishes or other delusions for a clear-eyed examination of the facts. Some relevant facts always include an awareness of your own preferences, resources and limitations, and the impact of your choices on yourself and others.

2. Develop a solid personal foundation. Identify what matters most to you, what you need from a situation, and what you want. Learn how to communicate clearly and effectively, to say no -or yes!- when you want to. Establish your personal boundaries and enforce them. Stop protecting others from your choices. Without a solid personal foundation you are bound to unconsciously get your needs met, but usually from acting out rather than acting deliberately.

3. Have a clear intention. Keep focusing on what you want, and the outcome you want. Stay tuned for solutions, synchronicities and opportunities. Take one step at a time. Do only what you know.

4. When in doubt, follow your intuition. Whether you call it instinct or following your gut, cultivate a way of staying it touch with your deepest knowing. People have different ways of receiving internal signals. Become familiar with yours. Remember that intuition is a psychic muscle that becomes stronger with use.

5. Eliminate shoulds, ought to’s, have-to’s or other judgments. They are a waste of time and ultimately defeat your purpose of choosing what works best for you.

6. Recognize that your emotions count. Emotions count because ultimately good choices are subjective: what is beneficial feels good or right, creates joy or warmth or good will. Caveat: some emotions are also just reactions, as when you know you must take a course of action that, although beneficial and right, is painful or distasteful to carry through.

7. Cultivate whole thinking. The bodymind connection is real. Your body as well as your emotions can give you clues about what’s right and best. Fine tune your receptivity to these messages.where the heart is download free cry of the owl two lovers free

Use the Bodymind Connection to "Be With" Difficult Moments

Kathleen Daniel — Sat, 29 Jan 2000 16:47:24 +0000

“Being with” unwelcome and painful emotions, and threatening or confusing thoughts is difficult. They often evoke strong, visceral responses. It’s nice to recommend staying with difficult feelings as a way to get through them, but how do you do that? Some moments can be overwhelming, literally, physiologically. The nervous system, flooded with conflicting chemical and electrical messages, cracks open a whole array of contradictory impulses, memories and options for response. Sometimes they’re very confusing to sort out.

The most urgent need in such moments is simply for space, or distance, in order to regain perspective. A patch of solid ground to stand on. Even a piece of driftwood to cling to till it the turbulent waters calm down would be welcome! Luckily, because of the nature of the bodymind connection, there are several workable options that can considerably short-circuit processing time.

The key is that the bodymind connection is a two way street. Just as thoughts evoke physiological responses, so too can working with your body bring calm, clarity and control to your mental and emotional responses. Your body is literally the ground you stand on!

There are three areas that are acutely responsive to the movement of the mind: the breath, the tongue and the eyes. You see this in action when you notice people’s eyes shifting when they’re thinking. You feel you can literally see thoughts turning gears inside their brains. Similarly, it’s not unusual to see people’s jaws and mouth tensing or grinding. You may have noticed this in yourself. Have you noticed how shallow your breathing becomes when you’re upset or tense? Quiet your eyes, mouth, tongue, jaw and breath and you quiet your mind. It’s that simple.

The first step in using any bodymind technique to your advantage is bodymind awareness. I often notice my mind chattering without mercy when I’m driving. Others notice mental turbulence as they drift off before sleep, or in the presence of certain people. Key into your particular body response to mental and emotional chatter. Then try the appropriate technique that targets your area of physiological response.

Stilling the tongue is an ancient Chinese Taoist practice for stilling a restless mind. It involves simply touching the tip of your tongue to your upper palate and lightly holding it there in place for as long as you want. You’ll notice several things almost immediately. Your jaw opens and relaxes, unable to clench. You are more present–at first it takes attention to keep your tongue positioned! You’ll notice a calmness, a product of the distance you’ve created from sliding into your customary reactive grooves. New perspectives emerge. You may notice your breath deepen. I engage this technique to short circuit worry or literally when I want to hold my words in check before reacting!

The second technique stills and focuses the mind by stilling the eyes. Position a candle at eye level one to two feet in front of you and light it. Gaze at the tiny red ember at the tip of the burning wick. Initially, your eyes will blink and tear within seconds. Close them and try again. You’ll notice your mind wander incessantly, your gaze will shift, and it will be difficult to simply focus for more than a few seconds! After a while, you’ll notice that you can hold your gaze steady for several minutes. Your body relaxes and your breath regulates. You are literally building a physiological tolerance to withstand the energy that accompanies being conscious, or being in the presence of, certain thoughts and emotions.

The last technique can be done on the spot to downshift internal conflict to more manageable levels, for instance, during an argument, or the mild panic that sets in before a deadline. Simply take three to four deep breaths. If it’s possible, take two to three minutes to simply breathe. (Deep breathing occurs when the abdomen expands and air fills your lower lungs, i.e. if you’re pulling your stomach in as you inhale you’re not deep breathing). The key is to exhale slowly and completely in a steady and controlled manner. During the exhalation you consciously release the tension that’s disturbing your peace and begin to think more clearly.

It’s a shame we don’t routinely teach these self-management tips in our culture. There are many, many ways to befriend yourself and to maintain your equanimity. They are all ways to get to know yourself better by learning to stay present to yourself during your most intense moments. Putting up with high degrees of inner disturbance isn’t necessary, and doesn’t require pills or distractions, which in the end don’t work anyway, and ultimately become addictions.

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To Realize Big Goals, Set Your Intention First

Kathleen Daniel — Sat, 22 Jan 2000 12:49:01 +0000

What is intention? Intention means, “to stretch toward.” It is the beginning of bending your mind toward a target. It is a force closely related to vision. Vision allows you to create reality, not merely to react to it. Intention inspires vision. Intention organizes your potential and brings it towards reality. Think of intention as your overall way of getting to a place, not your map of the details. It is a vast goal that is at once measurable yet so large that inspires you to become visionary to achieve it.

Why is intention important? Because it brings forward your determination, inspiration and focus. A hallmark of a good intention is that it exceeds your current capabilities. Intention pulls you forward, heightening your senses to opportunity and synchronicity, that otherwise might have gone unnoticed.

A story from the medieval Christian tradition illustrates intention: A traveler came to a worksite and saw two men carrying stones. One was working listlessly with a sullen expression on his face, while the other was singing cheerfully as he busily carried stone after stone. “What are you doing?” asked the traveler of the sullen worker. “Laying stone,” he replied. “What are you doing?” he asked the industrious worker. “Building a cathedral,” was his reply. That is intention at work.

ACTION: Refine and express your intention succinctly, in a word or two. For example, an intention for the day might be to Listen for Opportunity. An intention for a project might be Find the Third Way (between two extremes). Bringing the words themselves to mind will mobilize a force in you toward your desired goal.

Intention sets magic in motion. If you make the decision, as the saying goes, your subconscious will make the provision.

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Meet Your Needs Before Setting New Goals

Kathleen Daniel — Sat, 22 Jan 2000 12:38:22 +0000

It’s the New Year and a new opportunity to take some time to reflect on various aspects of your life, to gauge how your inner vision matches up with what’s actually true in your life. It’s a natural and beneficial habit to raise your head above the familiar daily routine to see if the road you’re on is taking you where you actually want to go. It allows for subtle mid-course correction, redirections that can be much more difficult to institute once habits and behaviors have become entrenched.

Unfortunately this annual taking-of-stock ritual is unnecessarily painful for people who’ve resolved in the past to make a fresh start, only to discover themselves very shortly back to their old habits. They become a little gun-shy about making new resolutions. It’s unnecessary because people often set themselves up to fail by setting unrealistic standards for themselves, before they’re ready for them.

It’s a mistake to make resolutions to do new things, institute new behaviors, or strike out in a fresh direction until you identify and get your basic needs met. When you don’t, it’s a set-up for failure. It’s also a set-up for having your life driven by your needs, rather than by your goals, because your needs are non-negotiable. If they don’t get met, it’s a sticking point, a block that hinders further progress.

So what are needs? Needs are what we must have in order to function at our best. We actually need a lot more than we think we do to function at our best. Beyond basic survival needs, like food, shelter, and clothing, we may need any number of things: love, support, recognition, resources, skills, order, safety, freedom, to be heard, respect, stability, peace, ideas, guidance, acceptance… fill in the blank.

Lets look at the nature of unmet needs. It’s not unusual for people to accept that they will have unmet needs, to even feel selfish thinking about meeting them. That’s how life is, isn’t it? Well, let’s look at the consequences of that thinking: Resignation. Giving up. Being resentful of others for not meeting needs. Confusion over the right to have what we need or want. Embarrassed because needs are running our life. Frustration. Anger that others actually ask for and get what they need. Holding ourselves back from our full possibilities.

That’s a lot of mental and emotional energy, wasted. Not to mention, creating so much more confusion that’s it often difficult to even identify our needs, or understand that in fact, they can be completely satisfied. We flop into a life assuming that all of our needs cannot be met, rather than designing one in which they can. This life, while it does work, is not what it could be. We have inkling that this is true, which is why we keep attempting to set resolutions or new standards for ourselves.

The truth is that needs are completely satisfiable, once and for all. Once you get past the hump that it’s okay to have what you need, it’s simply a skill that takes training and practice. The first step, often the hardest for some people, is to identify them. Then you can develop new and creative ways to get them met.

Continue to set high standards and goals for yourself AND give yourself permission to have what you need. Be gentle and honor yourself and your process of becoming.

ACTIONS: How do you identify your needs? The Integrity-Needs-Wants model can be helpful. The idea is that it’s not possible to get what you want till you have your needs met, and you won’t be able to meet your needs until you are in integrity with yourself. So, work backwards and forwards.

Ask yourself: What do I want that I’ve been unable to get? What you’ll discover is that you’ve been bumping into an unidentified need.

Then ask yourself: Am I in integrity with myself? Am I being who I really am, in alignment with what I value and what I believe in? If you’re not (i.e., a butcher and a vegetarian), no matter how well you’ve identified your needs and installed procedures for getting them met, they will not be satisfied. You are out of alignment with your true self, a fundamental need, if you wish.

Remove Habits of Psychological Pessimism

Kathleen Daniel — Sat, 22 Jan 2000 12:25:41 +0000

One thing that holds people back from achieving their full potential is a low, sometimes crippling, sense of self-worth. While the causes of low self-esteem are various and open to speculation, understanding its origin is sometimes less useful in overcoming it than is becoming aware of the specific habits of speech and thought that re-enforce it. One of these habits is an attitude of psychological pessimism.

Based on an interesting series of studies conducted several years ago, psychological pessimists were identified by three attributions they would make whenever a “bad event” happened to them: internal, global and stable. For example, suppose you are a student who just failed an algebra exam. If you’re a psychological pessimist, you might say “its all my fault” (internal). I’m a bad student. I mess up everything I do (global). And I’m always going to be like this (stable).” It’s not just that you had a particularly heavy courseload, or that teacher wasn’t good, or that were coming down with the flu the day of the exam, it’s because you are a hopeless good for nothing who is never going to change. There is a pervasive sense that whatever you do, whoever you are, it’s not enough.

There is a difference between assigning blame to all sorts of things outside yourself and refusing to shoulder responsibility for every disappointing outcome. There is a story that the Dalai Lama was asked this question: what he would say to people who believed that when they got ill, it must have been caused by their being psychologically or spiritually wrong? He apparently had a great laugh, and then said he would tell them not to be so simple-minded. He said that you have to look at many factors. It’s always good to see how you might have contributed to the illness, but that doesn’t mean you should blame yourself, because in some cases there will be a contribution and in others there won’t.

Low self-esteem has a nasty way of throwing a wrench into otherwise rational thinking. Consciously becoming aware of, and identifying your thinking and speaking patterns, is the first step in shifting your self-perception, giving you a point of leverage to reformat your immediate and habitual responses.

fly the online ACTION: When you find yourself globalizing, take a moment to look at the occurrence as a single incident, and recall a time that you can be proud of. Instead of assigning blame, look at circumstances that may have impacted the outcome and ask yourself what you can do to have them operate in your favor in the future. And most of all, love yourself anyway. Imagine you as a child: what’s going to work best to improve your future outcome: berating your mistakes or assuring yourself that well, these things happen, there’s a learning curve to everything in life, and I’m doing just fine

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Get Beyond Polarized Thinking

Kathleen Daniel — Thu, 20 Jan 2000 20:32:46 +0000

As these Tips have taken a decidedly philosophical bent lately, I thought it might be instructive to describe some of their underpinnings, as they clearly reflect life viewed through a very particular lens. To frame it as broadly as possible in the language of my own thinking, what shines through most clearly is decidedly of Eastern hue.

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The difference between East and West is primarily one of emphasis. Since I’ve set up a polarity here, let me elaborate on it. East vs West. Yielding vs. control. Being vs. doing. Having vs. getting. Process vs. goal. Bodymindspirit as one vs. body and mind and spirit as separate. It’s simplistic, but a useful way to begin a dialog, since setting up polarities at all is germane, another radically distinguishing feature between east and west.

The emphasis in western thinking is in seeing the world in terms of either/ or, black or white, rather than seeing things from a both / and point of view. We like to make distinctions, to distinguish one thing from another. It’s a basic function of thinking and a useful tool to create order out of chaos. But what happens when two people– or even you within yourself–see the same facts from different points of view? It’s a dilemma: one has to be right and the other wrong. We get in this rut all the time. Which is it? How to decide? Control, judgment, blame and all manner of internal and external conflict arise.

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This dilemma is precisely what eastern thinking addresses. Is there (just) One Truth? In the Yoga Sutras, the first record of yoga philosophy, the goal of yoga is defined as the “cessation of the thought waves of the mind.” Essentially it teaches that when we learn to witness our mind–which by its nature thinks, computer-like, in polarities– we discover that we have over-identified mind as being the sum total of who we are at a given moment. Yoga literally means to unite, or “to yoke” two things together. If you discover yourself on the horns of a dilemma, be assured that if you get quiet enough, you will find that underneath the dilemma lies a single truth, a deeper truth that includes “both sides.”

Einstein is often quoted as having said that that it’s not possible to resolve a problem at the same level of thinking that created it. In fact, when the mind is at peace–in nature, upon awakening, in moments of creativity– we discover “answers” that we never could have “thought” of! This points to an essentially spiritual outlook, the recognition that we are something more than our minds. It’s the acknowledgment that we participate in a higher order than our thinking minds can conceive of. We participate in a mystery, and by opening to it–by stilling the mind (the obstacle of thinking that assumes we have all the answers) — we discover the keys to successfully navigate life.

An example. My husband and I disagree on how to replace a fixture. I think he is ignoring my contribution, wanting to control everything. He believes I’m opposing him, that I want to have things my way. After we both quiet down, I discover that he actually misunderstood what I was saying, and he discovers that he was reacting to feeling that I was denigrating his point of view. The dilemma had nothing to do with repairing the fixture of course! Sound familiar? Too easy? Here’s another one.

I have a client who is an employee in a large corporation. In charge of recruiting and mentoring new hires on a leadership track within the company, he has come to discover basic dysfunctions in the way information is disseminated, meetings are run and communications handled. From what I hear, he’s right. What he’s also discovering however, is that being right plus a quarter still won’t buy him a cup of coffee, i.e. when he shares his insights (read: opposes people’s ways of doing things) he meets with resistance. But when he gets underneath his polarized thinking, he is able to identify what’s concretely playing out in front of him, i.e. what is specifically not working. It’s an opening. Everyone agrees, “that’s not working.” Into this agreement he can offer a suggestion. Voila! The seeming “opposition” –”my way or your way” — dissolves into “Oh, that makes sense! Good idea!”

Success is about being effective. One key to being effective is the willingness to be quiet enough to listen and to discover the essential common ground that lies beneath the surface of seemingly opposing positions, whether within yourself, or with others.

COACHING ACTION: Select a current dilemma you’re faced with. It can be a disagreement with someone or wondering what you want for the next phase in your life. Assume all sides are “right,” or true. Ask yourself, “What would have to be true for me to see that each of us is right, or all sides of this are true?” Or, “Given that both of us is right, what one thing can we agree on that would make a difference?” Or, “What else must be true for all these seemingly opposing ways I feel about to be equally true?”

Cultivate Your Bodymind Connection

Kathleen Daniel — Tue, 18 Jan 2000 17:38:16 +0000

Do you share an intimate rapport with your body? Do you carry on an internal dialog with your headache, tight shoulders, or tired feet? Have you ever noticed when your body just doesn’t want to go in the same direction you intend to take it? More importantly, do you ever ask it why, or heed its messages?

Odd questions? Only if you aren’t aware that your body is sending you signals all the time, and not just when you’ve run it too hard, or fed it too much dessert. The body has a logic and a language all its own, and it’s well worth cultivating the habit of deciphering its code to discover the rich vein of insight and wisdom it has to offer.

Many non-western cultures have been way ahead of us in this regard. Fortunately, we are beginning to learn some of these sophisticated methods of translating body signs into valuable information. Cultivating the body/ mind connection helps us to preserve our health, become aware of unacknowledged emotions, and tap into alternative ways of understanding what’s going on inside of us as well as around us.

The Chinese diagnose illness from the geography of the tongue. Its color, coating, ridges and spots in specific locations are like reading a map of the internal health of each of the organs. Russian massage therapists learned to diagnose emotional blockages like repressed anger in a tight back or jaw, or fear in stiff neck and back. Yoga masters recognize states of blocked creativity by observing how a person holds their lower body, or unresolved grief by observing their breathing.

Science, the language that we tune into most often, has confirmed in recent years what some cultures have described as an energy field that surrounds and interpenetrates the body. This field operates like supersensitive antennae, serving as a first alert system for picking up environmental cues. You know it’s at work when you walk into a roomful of people and sense that something is “off,” that people aren’t “clicking,” that there is an undercurrent of unspoken tension in the room. Some people may feel an uneasy sensation in their belly, or in their chest.

We’ve also come to understand that our biochemistry is connected to our emotions in very complex ways. Most often fatigue is the body’s way of signaling the need for down time to process feelings rather than simply an indicator of too much activity. The same may be true of a host of mild symptoms or pains we attribute to physical causes, from transient depression to an upset stomach. The body has its own cycle and rhythm in adjusting to emotions, transitions and other life changes and events. To be attentive to the bodymind connection is to simplify, demystify and open to a whole new source of information that can guide our actions and allow us to live more authentically in alignment with our feelings and with the environment around us.

To strengthen your bodymind connection, trust that your body is an accurate indicator of what passes under your conscious radar, and ask it regularly for its insights.

COACHING ACTIONS: To practice recognizing what your body is communicating to you, think of an uncomfortable interaction you’ve had with someone about which you are confused or upset. Now scan your body to locate where your body is holding your feelings about that interaction. Is it in your chest, your stomach or your forehead? Take a moment to focus on your sensations, and ask what the feeling is behind it. Where you may have thought you were angry, you may be surprised to uncover a hidden fear behind your anger. You’ll know you’ve hit the truth when your discomfort clears, or you let out a deep and spontaneous sigh of release.

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Find Your Peace of Mind

Kathleen Daniel — Tue, 18 Jan 2000 12:46:02 +0000

No matter what we may say we want and strive for, at the end of our endeavors–with our money, comfort and kudos firmly in hand – what we are hoping to achieve is peace of mind, contentment, a stilling of the many voices that compete for air time in our awareness. Sometimes we get it, sometimes we don’t. Depends on what we want and how much of ourselves we leave behind to get there. But that’s another conversation.

If peace of mind is the goal, there are more direct routes. In fact some mystical traditions say that peace or joy is who we are — and that it’s we who are ‘someplace else’ so that we don’t always experience it.

There are few more effective and immediate tools to help you re-inhabit yourself fully than closing your eyes and acting “as if.” Sometimes called visualization or guided meditation, it works on the principle that your subconscious mind operates in virtual reality. In other words, it doesn’t know the difference between what is imagined and what is actual. So when you imagine feeling warm and sunbaked on your favorite beach, or invigorated and refreshed after your mountain hike, your body and mind responds as if you’re right there right now– with profound relaxation and peace. It’s a physiological fact.

So, give it a try. Imagine three things:

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Take three deep and long breaths, like a sigh, and feel tensions leaving your body. Take a moment to get comfortable. Using your mind, transport yourself to a favorite spot, one that you associate with pleasure, relaxation, peace and joy. Take a moment to take it in, to feel the sensations in your body. Notice the contents of your mind. If thoughts come and go –what you did the day before, what you have to do tomorrow, or if memories and images float by, let them be. Let only the moment be.

Then go deeper. Find the place in yourself where there is only stillness. Locate its center in or around your body. Let the peace of this stillness wash over you. Don’t resist whatever thoughts or emotions may want to intrude. Simply imagine merging every image and feeling into the stillness. Your mental chatter or emotional disquiet is simply a part of the larger space of peace that you inhabit.

After having found this place, imagine that this space is immersed in and surrounded by love. You inhale it, feel it penetrating your skin, circulating throughout your body. You are in deepest peace. Your whole being is loved, sheltered, secure. There is nothing outside, all of you is contained within this love. Revel in it for a few moments. Feel gratitude for having found your abiding home. Resolve to carry this peace in your heart and memory as you gently bring yourself back to your day.