Mar
18
So which stereotypes about single women are true? The ones about women who’ve never felt more free and happy in their lives, or about those who are lonely, unhappy and inflexible? Before finding out how you – or your single friends – may compare to those in AARP’s study of single women over 45, it’s worth noting that of the 57 million American women 45 and up (2005), nearly half—25 million—are unmarried. While divorce and later marriages account for some of this, it’s also true that women still tend to outlive their spouses and end up alone. And overall, American women are likely to spend more years of their lives single than with a significant other, with relationships happening between longer periods of singleness.
The study showed that single women are as diverse as any other group: about half the women in the study said they are happier than they’ve ever been. Some lose sleep over the economic challenges of being single, but that doesn’t stop the majority of them from believing that midlife offers an opportunity for growth, for learning, and the chance to do the things they’ve always wanted to do. On study author says that “many single women are living lives of secret contentment.”
Here’s the gist of the myths, some supported, others debunked. Go the site for a fuller description.
Myth #1 All single women are desperate to find a mate.
Reality: Open to a nice relationship? You betcha. But obsessed with finding a partner? Hardly. 31% of single women 40 – 69 are in an exclusive relationship, and another 32% date non-exclusively, wile a surprising number couldn’t care less.
Myth #2 Single women are lonely.
Reality: Everyone is lonely sometimes—even married people. But most single women actually enjoy their solitude. Slightly more single women than their married sisters said they felt their independence was important to their quality of life. They love the freedom.
Myth #3 Older women are clueless about finances and don’t know how to invest.
Reality: Women are more timid investors than men are, but they’re the opposite of clueless and actually make fewer investing mistakes than men do. Women are also more likely than men to rely on advice from finance professionals… they seek information. “But just because single women know something intellectually, it doesn’t mean it’s easy for them emotionally.”
Myth #4 Unlike their female counterparts who were born before the women’s movement, baby-boomer career women have it made financially.
Reality: Many single women—particularly those under age 60—carry dangerously high levels of debt.
It’s not ignorance, manage big corporate budgets. “They work hard and like to spend, trading immediate gratification for long-term planning.”
Myth #5 Retirement is a time for single women to slow down and get a few more cats.
Reality: Often it’s an exciting chance for reinvention.
In terms of happy-right-now measurements, single women, overall, don’t fare as well as those with a partner. But attitudes are changing as mature unmarried women are starting to build a culture all their own as they realize how much time they have to create a meaningful life.
Myth #6 When it comes to their appearance, older single women say “the heck with it.”
Reality: To the contrary, women without partners are keenly aware that appearances matter in our society, but most don’t go to extremes to look younger, though single women do pay more attention to appearance, as in the dating world physical appearance is always important.
Myth #7: A single woman’s worst fear is that she’ll wind up old, sick, and alone.
Reality: While winding up alone later in life is increasingly likely for all women, it’s not something single women lose sleep over. 81% aren’t overly concerned about growing old alone. Some see being single as protecting them from the heartbreaking ordeal of caring for a sick husband.
Myth #8 The older they get, the more single women regret the lack of family ties.
Reality: Unmarried women have strong family relationships, and many have stronger social support systems than married women do of friends, colleagues, neighbors, and other people..”Community really means a lot and gives them geographical stability.
Myth #9 Single women are sex-starved.
Reality: It’s variable, while most women have a greater appetite for other forms of sustenance in their lives. Whether sexually active or not, they aren’t hung up about it, yet those who are, are more sexually adventurous and easygoing, and more willing to take pleasure when it comes.
Myth #10 Single women aren’t as healthy as married women.
Reality: This is hard to say as there is little data, yet 46% say their health is excellent or very good, while 90% feel very or somewhat confident that they’re doing all they can to stay healthy.
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I’d just like a little reassurance that I’m not the only 50+ female in the entire world who isn’t married or in an exclusive relationship. I work full-time, yet my social life is almost nil, since everyone I know seems to be attached. Okay, my kids aren’t the greatest; they’re busy w/their own lives, I love my 2 grandkids to pieces, yet there’s a connection missing w/women in like circumstances (SINGLE!!). It seems men in this age group are looking for 20-something silicone goddesses, not mature women, and don’t even say the word, “cougar”. Those young studs are NOT looking for women like me. I gave up looking long ago; even my ex- talks about his ailments constantly.
Anyone else out there care to add to this?? Would love to know I’m not the last dinosaur alive