Feb
14
This Valentine’s Day, Develop the Second Most Important Quality in Your Relationship
February 14, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Posted by: Kathleen Daniel
When asked what the second most important quality to develop in a relationship is, beyond mutual recognition of spiritual awareness, counselors, teachers and author of several books including their classics, A Shared Heart, Models of Love & The Heart’s Wisdom, Joyce Vissell, RN, MS & Barry Vissell, MD would respond with a litany of qualities like appreciation, gratitude, understanding, sharing ideas, making the relationship a priority, a sense of humor, a healthy sexual relationship and a shared vision – until a couple in one of their workshop showed them that taking responsibility for your own pain rather than blaming it upon your partner underlies your ability to develop all the other qualities. Well worth a read, this excerpt is the gist of their insight: “Projecting your anger and pain upon your partner is a burden. … It is so tempting in a relationship to want to step into the victim role. It is because of him that I am in pain. If it weren’t for her, I would be happy. It is always the other person’s fault. And yet that is a trap and weakens the individual. For we always have a choice to either stay in love or to move away from love.”
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