May
21
In linking to a Mark Gerzon interview recently, I was struck by his comment that, while childhood, adolescence and old age have been studied, the entire span of adulthood remained unexplored- resting on the assumption that learning ends in our 20s. I’m happy to say that at least for the stage between 50 and 75, that era is coming to an end with this insightful new book, The Third Chapter: Passion, Risk, and Adventure in the 25 Years After 50
. With Eudora Welty’s admonition to discover the universal within the details of people’s stories, Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, a Harvard sociologist and professor, explores what it means to be strong, mature, powerful, and sexy during this ‘in-between’ age, when we’re neither old nor young. She follows the experience of 40 men and women over two years, telling stories of challenging old inhibitions, facing the “surprising emptiness” after retirement, and the almost sheepish discovery of new passions, as each became, much to their own surprise, different people.
She asks good questions: How do we adapt, explore and channel our energies? What are our sources of inspiration? What are our fears and inhibitions? What are the barriers to learning? How do we break ingrained patterns of behavior that no longer serve us? How do we develop new relationships of support and intimacy? She describes the paradox of experience and of being a novice: the impulse to share and pass on hard won lessons, but needing guidance and counsel from younger generations to discover how it might best serve them.
I was particularly struck by her notion of risk and vulnerability. Sara describes the “confessional tones” in which the stories are told – tentative voices veiling excitement, terror, feelings of being irresponsible, unseemly, inappropriate, and even awkward in the childish enthusiasm for new roles. As if we “should” be confident, certain and resting on our laurels. Her stories are a counterpoint to ambivalent societal stereotypes of a “static” life beyond 50, a mostly uninspired picture of disappointment and loss: loss of vitality, curiosity, sexiness, and drive.
Sara uses “show me’ approach to her interviewees, who see themselves as new learners and want to be intentional in shaping their lives. They also realize, as educated and healthy adults living longer than any previous generation, that they are privileged to be able to explore new adventures, and make unlikely choices: a 63 year-old portrait painter in her studio, a budding 70 year-old Victorian cabinet-maker, a 62 year-old jazz pianist practicing his scales, a 55 year-old woman biologist take surfing lessons, a 70 -old man completing his first half-marathon to raise money for cancer research and a 60 year old former CEO working with nonprofit activists to apply his business knowledge to their mission.
You can read the introductory chapter, Facing a Mirror, here.
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Comments
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[...] this link http://www.aheadofthecurveatmidlife.com/2009/05/13/what-happens-in-the-25-years-after-50/ to find the introductory chapter, Facing a Mirror. It’s well worth a [...]
I’ve been “exploring new adventures” my whole life, but it’s only been after turning 50 that I quit feeling guilty about it
Thanks for bringing this book to my attention.
Wonderful to let go of all that, isn’t it? Stories like yours – and those in her book- let everyone know that it does happen!
[...] Last week, President Obama met at the White House with winners of the Purpose Prize, the award from Civic Ventures given to outstanding individuals over the age of 60 who are taking on challenges to make society better. The six winners who met with Mr. Obama are social innovators seeking solutions to problems ranging from rural poverty to infant mortality and environmental protection. We’ve posted on boomers as social entrepreneurs seeking to give back to community, and on Civic Ventures, the think tank on boomers, work, and social purpose that calls for boomers to apply their experience in ‘encore careers’ to solve social problems – complementing the idea that the second half of adult life is a time of individual renewal. [...]