Mar
16
It’s hard enough to contemplate dating at midlife, finding yourself single again after being widowed or divorced – and this is doubly true when your intention is to find a partner that you feel you can resonate with on a soul level! Yet, that’s exactly what midlife wants. Even within a committed relationship, desires for new levels of authenticity, ease and intimacy arise, and may require us to change long-standing patterns of relating and communicating. The idea of trying to impress someone, as in conventional dating, can be depressing. Especially at midlife, the pleasure of intimacy comes from being able to be totally present with your partner, listening, sharing, being silent, and then letting go and moving on. Hopefully by now we’ve learned to make choices about how we react, to choose not to let our buttons get pushed and aren’t attracted to the drama of a tug of war. Indeed, the prospect of the drama is exhausting enough to run for the hills!
Enter Jill Crosby to fill void with “spiritual dating” or “conscious dating” service. She’s the owner and founder of Spiritual Singles download twilight zone the movie online for those who want what she calls a “more enlightened way of meeting and dating.” Spiritual Singles isn’t exclusively for people in midlife, but her 35,000 strong database includes members in all age ranges – including her sixty-something father – who found his future partner, dating two women he discovered through her service after her mom died.
There are no special rules or expectations for spiritual dating. It’s about being true to oneself and staying in the flow. There’s a natural ease where you don’t have to try too hard, and a feeling of being connected and in the Now. It’s so much more efficient to be real, to get out of ego and let your guard down from the get go. Your true personality is eventually revealed in relationship anyway, so who has the time or energy to want to hide it?
Jill suggests that people be active when they meet, rather than just sitting and talking. Experiencing something together is not only more fun, but it takes the pressure off, and you can get to know each other’s personalities in action, interacting with others, and so on. Make a clay pot, go to an exhibit, or do something physically active, like playing miniature golf, or bowling or bumper cars in an amusement park.
Members get to know each other through answering essay questions, which are very popular with her members. Questions like, “What does being conscious mean to you?” or “What music {authors) {books} motivate or inspire you?” helps people get to know each other and contributes to the many success stories. Spiritual Singles offers support through articles, spiritual coaching, and a newsletter for members. Here are some of her tips on spiritual dating:
Remember our divinity. tic tac toe download
When we love ourselves unconditionally, that joy radiates outward. It’s more fulfilling when people come together in joy rather than in desperation and loneliness.
Be present and open. If you are receptive and enjoy each encounter, whether or not the person is a potential mate, not only do you enjoy each day, but you may receive an unexpected gift that you might have overlooked in prejudging who you are with.
Listen deeply. Being present and focused, with an open heart on your partner allows conversation to flow naturally, including times of silence, and just being together and feeling each other’s presence. Remember to breathe and relax. Think of how this is in a long term relationship.
Stay in the flow. Stay out of your head and follow your heart and feelings. Let go of expectations and preconceived ideas, and trust that you’re being perfectly guided.
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