Get Out of Your — and Other's –Way

June 2, 2000 | Leave a Comment

Posted by: Kathleen Daniel

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Ever notice how a group really “clicks” together sometimes? It happens when personalities, egos or other obstructions don’t get in the way of allowing members’ wisdom and enthusiasm to emerge. People feel connected, ideas are flying and new possibilities open up. If you are leading such a gathering, the best that you can do is to put your own agenda aside and let it happen.

In our roles as parents, employers and leaders, our goal is to surface the brilliance and internal motivation of others to be and do their best, not to pontificate to, or micromanage them. In the workplace this might translate into not hovering over employees, or over-supervising them. Once goals, purpose and responsibilities have been established, step back and allow people to do things in ways that work best for them. Since people support what they help create, include them in decisions that affect them. You will see more investment or buy-in on their part. This is equally true with children. Teens will clearly let you know if they feel you are hovering. (“Annoying” and “in my face” might be key words to tip you off here.)

The same principle applies to us as individuals. We get out of our way by trusting ourselves as well as the spiritual forces that guide us, however we conceive of them.

Once you’ve planted the seeds– or set your intention– in undertaking a new project or exploring a new path, let the ideas and actions that will develop it rise up on their own. Don’t fret and worry, push and take actions just to keep moving. Your job is to pay attention, to be present enough to notice opportunities as they present themselves to you.

One mistake people make is thinking that what they want will appear to them whole. Not so. It’s more like negotiating an elaborate labyrinth. Most of the time what we do is follow threads. We are presented with an intuition, a lead, or a next step that seems relevant or promising. This is the time to drop wild expectations, fear, worry and arrogance and to follow that lead or to take that action, however tiny or tangential it may appear.

Look to nature. No fruit comes up whole out of the ground. Flowers appear only as a culmination of an elaborate development and strengthening process the plant undergoes.

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Actually, when you get out of your own way, life can be a great adventure!

COACHING CHALLENGE: Think of a goal that you intend to achieve. Write down what resources you need to achieve it: time, timing, connections, materials, people, skills, coaching, peace and quiet, support. Anchor yourself in the trust, confidence and expectation that you will achieve your desired outcome. Then get out of the way and watch for opportunities that present themselves to you

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